it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize