Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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