I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
