Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
