in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
