Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
