Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize