yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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