Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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