3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
