Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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