Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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