Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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