If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
you never un-have a 4some
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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