He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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