2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
