Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i drank out of a bidet.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize