I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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