Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
