Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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