You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
