yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize