GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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