Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
