i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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