he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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