I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
