she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
