you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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