ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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