I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Will you blow on my dice?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize