whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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