she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
