this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
how does that bad decision feel?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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