And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
