You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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