i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I want a musical about memes.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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