operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
home. puking in laundry basket.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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