He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize