People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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