cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
