I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
