SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
