Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
