My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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