i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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