She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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