four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
