no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
