there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
