Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
