You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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