I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
