Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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