also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
