..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
only if we run a train.
done.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
be right there i have to get my cape
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
