that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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