She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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