from now on my penis is your penis
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
