I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
