Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
